Most advice about succeeding in business is based on the notion that in order to achieve anything worthwhile, you must:
- Have a clear, measurable, and actionable goal.
- Commit to achieving that goal no matter what it takes.
- Keep your goals top of mind at all times.
To be sure, having a clear goal can help you focus on the actions that will have the highest impact. Without any idea of your destination, it would be hard to know what actions to take—let alone muster up the motivation to tackle a challenging project.
But what happens when you take the advice to “focus on the goal” too far? When does guidance become obsession?
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[Full Transcript]
Most advice about succeeding in business is based on the notion that in order to achieve anything worthwhile, you must:
- Have a clear, measurable, and actionable goal.
- Commit to achieving that goal no matter what it takes.
- Keep your goals top of mind at all times.
To be sure, having a clear goal can help you focus on the actions that will have the highest impact. Without any idea of your destination, it would be hard to know what actions to take—let alone muster up the motivation to tackle a challenging project.
But what happens when you take the advice to “focus on the goal” too far? When does guidance become obsession?
How Attachment to Outcomes Hurts Performance
The concept of goals creates a paradox. When you’re not worrying about outcomes, you can be completely present and in flow. But without goals to guide you, you may simply drift through life, bouncing from one random project to another.
On the other hand, if you’re overly goal-oriented, you can easily end up emotionally dependent on achieving a particular goal in a specific amount of time. Attachment turns otherwise healthy and useful goals into objects of obsession. Goals then become external benchmarks of success that you feel you must hit in order to be happy and fulfilled.
This emotional attachment can wreak havoc on your performance. Instead of focusing on the task in front of you, you get distracted by thoughts (and worries) about the future. The more you worry about “will I get what I want?” the harder it is to stay focused on the task at hand.
By pulling you out of the present moment, this type of obsession with outcomes actually reduces the quality of your work as well as the chances of achieving your goal. You end up losing the key ingredient for exceptional performance—being in a state of effortless flow.
That flow state connects you to your true potential and lets you make the best use of your talents, skills, and natural creative ability. Every time you switch from present-moment awareness to made up stories about the future, you short-circuit that connection with your gifts. Rather than being 100% focused on “what can I give?” you become distracted by thoughts like “what if this doesn’t work?” and “what if nothing I try works?”
These thoughts can quickly spiral into desperation and neediness that repel others, block creative breakthroughs, and diminish your ability to persevere through obstacles over the long term. You end up trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-doubt.
To create the sense of certainty we all crave, you may end up focusing on your goal with even more intensity, desperately trying to picture a solid, believable vision of what it would be like to achieve your goal. You may even create vision boards and repeat affirmations, all in an attempt to trick your brain into believing that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.
When it works, it gives you a temporary confidence boost that lets you get back to work and continue making forward progress. But that sense of confidence is fragile. It’s crushed the moment you hit a wall, receive one too many rejections, or start doubting yourself again.
Attachment is Based on False Limiting Beliefs
Ultimately, attachment to outcomes is based on unquestioned, limiting beliefs about who you are, what you need, and what you’ll get by achieving your goal. Beliefs like:
- “Nothing good will happen in my life unless I decide on exactly what I want first, and then make it be that way.”
- “If I’m not emotionally attached to the outcome, that means I don’t care about the results at all.”
- “If I temporarily let go of the outcome, and focus 100% on the work in front of me, I’ll lose the motivation to achieve my goal.”
- “Achieving this goal will make me happy, and I can’t be happy unless I achieve it.”
- “If (goal) doesn’t happen, that means that I’m a loser/failure/etc.”
The Alternative to Attachment: A Guiding Intention
Loosening the grip of emotional attachment to outcomes doesn’t mean that you’re indifferent to the results, don’t care about doing your best, or are never disappointed when you fall short of achieving your desired goal.
It simply means developing a healthier, more sustainable relationship with goals. Instead of being guided by the needy, fearful part of your ego, you’re guided by an intention that comes from somewhere deeper than “I want” and “I need.”
This kind of guiding intention provides the useful parts of goal setting, while leaving behind the toxic residue of neediness and fear that leaves you feeling crushed when things don’t happen exactly the way you think they should. You’re then free to bring all of your talents and skills to the task at hand.
A guiding intention directs your choices and actions, inspiring your innate creativity and helping you focus on projects that are worth your time, attention, and energy.
Think of a time that you were in flow and completely engaged in a task, project, game, physical activity, or conversation. How much more effective were you? Did being immersed in that experience instead of obsessing about the outcome mean you didn’t care? Did your performance suffer because you weren’t constantly judging how well you were doing at every moment?
How to Loosen Your Attachment to Outcomes
Letting go of attachment to outcomes doesn’t usually happen in one step. You learn to let go a little bit at a time.
Think of attachment as a mental habit that you’ve fallen into. Just like any other habit, there’s a trigger and a reaction. Letting go of attachment starts by weakening the automatic response—overthinking, doubting yourself, telling yourself stories about why you must achieve your outcome—by bringing awareness to your habitual reactions and behavior.
As you get better at staying aware of those reactions, you can start to shift your focus away from the future (your goal) and toward the present moment (the work in front of you).
That doesn’t mean you never think of the outcome or your goal at all. Your intention still serves the important purpose of guiding your actions. The difference is that you’re able to more easily toggle back and forth between thinking about your vision for the future and focusing on the present moment.
When you’re in planning mode, you think about the goal—the vision for what you want to create and put out into the world at some point in the future.
But when it’s time to do the work, you shift your focus back to the present moment and bring all of your talents and skills to the task at hand. You don’t need to change or get rid of your thoughts about the future. Just keep bringing yourself back to the moment in front of you.
How to Get Started
- Get clear about your vision, and be honest with yourself about why you want to achieve it. Is it coming from a place of creative expression or emotional attachment?
- Practice paying attention to results without creating a story around them. Any outcome is what it should be based on the laws of cause and effect. It’s not bad or good. It’s just information that you can use to adjust your approach and strategy.
- Practice focusing all your attention on the work in front of you. Learn to lose yourself in the present moment. When you notice that you’ve gotten distracted with stories about the future, just bring yourself back to the task at hand in the present. It’s not something you do once, but an ongoing process of focus, distraction, refocus.
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